Squid’s Word

She was only 41. Husband of 17 years. Two kids: girl and a boy…they both look like her.

Good Grief how they look like her!

It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. She was supposed to attend my funeral. She was supposed to sit beside my family. After all, I’m older than she is.

It’s all upside down.

It wasn’t supposed to be cancer. She took care of herself. And she was a health professional; She knew the signs and would have done something about them. She did do something about them.

Rewind 25 years.

Church parking lot. Mid fall, Sunday night after services. The breeze has that crisp feeling that makes you feel alive without feeling frozen. Rustling leaves and car headlights.

And there she is……

Most of the church youth group are headed to her house to hang out. Her folks are doing a fire in the fire place. Hot chocolate and cider.

“You want to come over? You really should come over.”

“Sure. How do I get there?”

“Well, I can draw you a map or you can ride with me”

And that’s how I met Brenda.

We never dated. Weren’t girlfriend & boyfriend. That wasn’t who we were with each other. She actually dated and almost married my roomate G-dog.

But the three of us: Brenda, G-dog, and I hung out alot. And for the next 9 years we were in each other’s lives on a daily basis. She, her mom & dad helped me through some pretty hard times in that stretch. When she was accepted to Harding University, G-dog, by now her steady boyfriend, went as well. I followed a year and a half later.

College friendships are the best. There’s time to sit & savor. Between football games, social club events and late night study sessions, there’s the hanging out.

Moments to laugh. Moments to prank. Moments to talk. Moments to just be…..

Moments frozen in time.

And I shared alot of those moments with Brenda & G-dog. You almost get the feeling it will never end.

Graduation. Spring, 1990. G-dog’s headed back to Michigan. He has a computer programming job there. I have another year and a half to go. And I’m getting married in September.

Brenda’s going to be around the university for awhile. She’s met somebody. He’s career army….

As often happens, life takes us in different directions. We talk occasionally over the years. The yearly Christmas letters. Her husband’s been stationed to a new post so time to move again. Pics of her and the family. I see her and her husband again at her sister’s wedding. It’s the last time I see her alive.

Fastforward to last Wednesday.

Her husband calls. Brenda died this morning. He’ll call later with funeral arrangements, but wanted us to know.Saturday G-dog and I make the trip from Michigan to Kentucky. Six and a half hours each way. We catch up. Reminisce. Remember. At the funeral, we see old friends. More like extended family really.

…And we say our goodbyes….

Her favorite hymns and praise songs. Prayer, video and encouraging words.

Joy and grief at the same time.

I guess this is a eulogy. A memorial to someone who was more than a friend. She had a way of reminding you who you were and whose you were and encouraging you at the same time. She had an unshakable faith. And she backed it up with action. She was always on the move. Making plans and following through. She was tireless.

I could go on. But I can hear her saying “Oh pu-LEEZ! Shut up already!”

I hate saying goodbye. See you again will have to do.

Squid

Things have been interesting as of late. breadbox! has several out of town gigs coming up in August and little while ago, we opened for a comic. Now that’s a first for me let me tell you…. nothing like getting the humor juices flowing with someone who knows what they’re doing. Marty Daniels is that guy. If you get the chance, check him out.

While you’re at it check out Shoutlife. It’s social networking site much like myspace, but with a distinctly different vibe. (read: positive, Christian) I’ve met some interesting people on Shoutlife (including Marty & his wife, Trina) had some interesting conversations with people from all over the country, and been able to pray with and for some of them.

And of course, there’s the music. Artists of every stripe with music to share. If you’re looking for a place to network online without a lot of crap, I recommend Shoutlife. My wife and I have enjoyed it.

Squid